And when it does happen in real life, either no one's there to see it or I do something embarassing right after like smile with rosemary stuck in my teeth or my dog pulls me flat on my face or I try to fart silently but it ends up coming out loud and stinky.
Well, sorry Mom. If you thought I'd stop talking about farting online, you were wrong. Very, very wrong. I can see her shaking her head right now, wondering where she went wrong.
Ok, let's get back on track here! Since I'll be talking about them a lot, I figured I should probably introduce you guys to my family.
First, there's Dude. He's really the whole reason I started this thing in the first place. I always do crafty projects at home; and like any full-grown adult girlfriend, I run and show it to him the moment it's complete and force him to tell me how awesome and cute and amazing it is. At one point, I made a totally kickass cupcake stand for a friends' bridal shower, this thing was covered in pink and orange and hearts and I forced him, literally at (glue) gunpoint, to tell me how adorable it was. I figured I should probably get a better audience for all my cute junk and thus, Cute Junk I've Made was born. And then, like 4 months later I actually wrote this post.
Next, there's Pepper aka Pepperoni aka Peanut aka Douchebag aka YA BIG GOOBER. She's a 55lb ball of energy, that has next to zero manners and can spot a rabbit from a moving vehicle and then attempt to crash through the driver's side window to get at it. She was diagnosed with EPI, a pancreatic difficiency where she cannot digest any food without supplements, at the beginning of 2012. This crazy disease has been an eye-opener and also created some kind of brain-to-mouth deficiency where I think talking about poop consistency at the dinner table is totally normal and acceptable.
|This is what happens when you say his name through a paper towel tube.|
Next up, Barney and Clyde the bearded dragons. We got Barney in 2010-ish and were given every indication that she was a he. Then one day I cam home to a tank full of eggs. He's don't lay eggs.
|That's Clyde on top, Barney on the bottom *snortgiggle*|
So once I found out she was a girl, I made the obvious choice to go out and buy another one so we could have babies!! You should have heard how excited my Mom was when I told her we were having a baby or two! That year we ended up with 49 babies, one didn't make it, and the other 48 were all adopted.
Last but not least, the final member of our family - SQUIRREL! That's how his name is spelled, exclamation point and everything. We found this little guy the first month or so we lived in our house hiding in a corner in our attic. Legend has it, when I saw him, I screamed SQUIRREL and then ran away and closed the attic door in Dude's face. I don't know how true this is, I've blocked out that entire evening.
So that's it. My little family. Now, let's get on to the good stuff, you know, the part where you tell me how cute and awesome all the stuff I make is?