How to Make Horchata

While Dude and I were in Arizona, I had my very first taste of horchata at a teeny Mexican restaurant called Moreno's.  If you've never had it, horchata is this amazing milky, kinda spicy drink made from rice.  If you like chai tea, you'll love horchata. 

Since we got back to Pittsburgh, I've been dying to find some really good horchata and have been failing at every turn. 

I tried the grocery store boxed version and it tasted like milk water that had been fermenting inside of a gym sock. 

We've been to three different "authentic" Mexican restaurants (as authentic as you can get in Pittsburgh) and only one offered horchata and it was not great. 

After that last failed attempt to purchase horchata, I gave up and decided to make some myself. 

Making your own horchata is insanely simple.  It requires ingredients that you probably have in your pantry right now and no special equipment other than a big jar and a blender.

The Cherpumple

Warning:  This post may give you diabetes.

Guys, I am so darn excited to share this - my greatest baking accomplishment - ridiculously amazing dessert with you.

For anyone out of the loop here - a cherpumple is what I call "The Inception Dessert."  It is 3 different pies, each pie is then baked into 3 separate kinds of cake.  Then the three layers are stacked on top of each other and covered with icing.  A dessert inside of a dessert, if you will.

The original cherpumple, created by Charles Phoenix, is a cherry pie baked into a white cake, a pumpkin pie baked into a spice cake, and an apple pie baked into a yellow cake.

We stayed pretty true to the recipe, with one minor change - we baked the cherry pie into a chocolate cake.  To be honest, I can't believe my buddy Charlie up there didn't come up with that himself.  I mean, what goes better with berry than chocolate??

So the idea of a cherpumple first started making its rounds in my head while we were in Phoenix. Long story short, we talked about it a lot but never made it.  But, on the plane home, Dude and I talked a bit and realized the cherpumple wouldn't be as massive of a project if you enlisted two other people and had them each bake a layer!  So when we got home, we assembled our crew!  Enter Chris and Jody.

So, on Super Bowl (am I allowed to say that?) Sunday, we created the cherpumple.  Chris and Jody were amazing and assembled the chocolate/cherry and yellow/apple layers, so I only have pictures of the spice/pumpkin layer being created, but you'll get the idea.

Homemade Crock Pot Greek Yogurt

I mentioned it before in the My Favorite Granola post, but I figured it was past time for me to share my Homemade Crock Pot Greek Yogurt with you.  I know the idea of essentially curdling milk is freaking terrifying, but I swear it's not that bad.

And can I tell you, it's so damn gratifying to eat yogurt that YOU made, knowing there are no crazy preservatives or other junk in it??

Kind of makes you feel like, heck yeah I could do this homesteading thing.  I could live off the land.  I could be an organic crunchy granola chick.

But then you remember how awesome a Grande Skinny Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks is and how much you love going to Costco on a Saturday just to eat free samples and you snap out of it.

Ok, back to the yogurt.  I'll hold your hand while you take a couple of deep breaths and repeat after me:  I can do this!
 
Here's what you'll need to get started:

• 2 Quarts of whole milk (I usually use organic, but I sent Dude to the store to pick up this milk...enough said)
• 1/2c of plain yogurt
• Your preferred sweeteners, here's what I used:

Recommended but not necessary:  a Slow Cooker Liner.  This will cut your clean-up time from 5 minutes to 5 seconds.

One word of warning, you're going to want to think about timing on this because in about 6 hours you're going to have to measure and stir a bit.  And if you don't plan far enough ahead, you may end up setting your alarm for 3am to do it.  I'm not saying this because it happened to me the first time I made this yogurt.  Pinkie swear.

Ok, now that you pulled all that stuff out, put it all back except for the milk; and pour that into your Crock Pot.

Put your Crock Pot on Low and if your Crock Pot is goofy like mine and only has a couple of options for time, set a timer for exactly 2 hours and 45 minutes.

This is what 2 hours and 45 minutes looks like on my stove timer.

Now walk away until the timer goes off because warm milk smells icky.

After 2 hours and 45 minutes, come back, turn off your Crock Pot, leave the lid on, and set the timer again, this time for 3 hours.

In case you were confused about the 3 hours thing.

Apologies for quality of the next couple of pictures, my camera inexplicably (or maybe I accidentally left it on for like 20 minutes, I don't know!) died right as I started measuring.

So anyways, three more hours have passed (see what I meant about thinking about timing before you started?); and you've got a Crock Pot full of warm milk.  Ladle one cup of the milk out of the Pot into a small bowl.

Now measure out a 1/2c of plain, store-bought yogurt.

This is called your starter.  Someone smarter than me would tell you it has something to do with the bacteria.  But personally, I don't understand it and I don't really want to talk about the bacteria in stuff I'm going to eat.  Basically you only need this store-bought yogurt once.  Next time, you can use the yogurt we're making now in this step.

Plop the yogurt into the bowl of warm milk; and if your helper has been a good puppy all day, you can let her lick the spoon.

Gently whisk the milk and the plain yogurt together.

Pour the milk/yogurt mixture back into the Crock Pot.

Put the lid back on the Crock Pot and let it sit on the counter for 8-12 hours.  If you have a drafty kitchen like I do, I suggest covering the Crock Pot with a towel and putting it somewhere warmish, like your oven.

I have no proof that this does anything, but I read it one time on a blog somewhere; and everyone knows you can't post something online if it isn't true.  Plus I'd rather be safe than end up with two quarts of stinky milk in my Crock Pot.

But that's just me.  If you want to roll the dice, I won't stop you.

After 8-12 hours your yogurt is done!  But to make it official Greek yogurt, you need to drain off the whey. 

To do that, grab a strainer, a bowl for it to sit in and some sort of straining material.  I use a flour sack towel, but I think cheesecloth or muslin would also work.

So place the towel in the strainer and set the strainer on top of the bowl.  I prefer to do this step in the sink because my Crock Pot bowl is heavy and I have weak little girl arms. 

Carefully pour your now thickened milk/yogurt mixture from the Crock Pot into the strainer; and move the entire setup to the fridge.

Leave it there until you've drained off at least 3/4 of a cup of whey.  It took me roughly 3 hours to drain off almost two cups of whey. 

What is whey?  I haven't got the slightest clue.  I know Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffett - while we're at it, what the heck is a tuffett? - eating her curds and whey.  I can't imagine eating this stuff straight.  But, I do know you can substitute it in any bread or dough recipe for water or milk.

Or you can do what I do, pour it into a mason jar, throw it in the fridge for a couple of weeks, plan to use it to make bread; and then never make the bread and throw it out when stuff starts floating in it.

Up to you.

Alright, back to the stuff you came here for!  Greek Yogurt!

After you drain off the whey, your yogurt is ready to be eaten and stored.  I usually make three different containers.  I leave one plain, to use as a starter next time; I layer one with berries and agave or honey; and I layer the final one with jam.

You can set up your yogurt here however you like.  If you want to add granulated sweetener or vanilla extract or any other kind of flavoring, now is the time to do it.

Your yogurt will keep in the fridge for a week or two.  Use your best judgement there.

Linking up here:

Background Noise for This Project:  It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Season 1, Episode 4:  Charlie Has Cancer

Pineapple Coconut Frozen Yogurt

If you follow me on Instagram (if you're not, why aren't you??), you'll know that since JULY I have been attempting to locate a pint of Haagen Dazs' Pineapple Coconut Ice Cream.  I FINALLY found one pint at Rite Aid and immediately posted this picture to my Instagram feed.

Kids, let me tell you now, this ice cream was miraculous.  It was a tastebud party in my mouth.  It was everything I was hoping for and then some.  It was something like 230 calories for a half cup serving.

It was gone in one afternoon.

So ever since my binge afternoon, I've been thinking about attempting to recreate this amazing ice cream with something that won't make me want to buy a gym membership every time I eat more than a cup.

On Sunday, the weather was garbage, I was grumpy, and I wanted something fresh and light to cheer me up so I dug up my ice cream maker and started experimenting.  This recipe is mostly my own experiment, but I did have some help from this blog.

If you're following along with me, here's what you'll need

• 2 egg whites, real or boxed, whatever you've got
• 1 cup of sifted confectioners sugar (is it confectioners or confectioner?)
• 1 cup of nonfat plain Greek yogurt
• 1 tsp Vanilla extract
• A little over 1 cup of crushed pineapple, fresh or canned
• 1/4c coconut flakes

If you're like my Dad and don't like coconut flakes, you could use coconut extract if such a thing exists instead of the flakes.  Or maybe grind them up in the food processor?  Whatever, I like the flakes so they're staying.

I keep the bowl of my ice cream maker in the freezer at all times because I am impatient and when I want to make ice cream I want it right. now.  If you don't keep your bowl in freezer, you'll need to freeze that bad boy for at least 24 hours.

First up, put your egg whites in a mixing bowl and mix them until they're good and frothy.

This may be the only time being frothy is good.

When your egg whites are frothy, gradually add in the confectioners sugar and mix until soft peaks appear and your mixture looks kind of like gooey melted marshmallow.

Now add in your yogurt and vanilla.  If you want, you can mix up the yogurt and vanilla ahead of time, but I am lazy didn't want to wash another bowl so in they went with the egg white/sugar mixture.

Mix up the yogurt and vanilla and then fold in the crushed pineapple.

 And the coconut.

At this point, I tasted the mixture to make sure I liked the flavor.  It wasn't pineapple-y enough for me, so I added a little more crushed pineapple and some of the juice.

Start up your ice cream machine and then pour the mixture into the top.  Don't pour everything into the frozen bowl and then start the machine, you will regret it.  Children will cry, balloons will pop; and brand new crayons will break in half.  Ok, probably not but it won't be fun.

From here, follow the instructions for your ice cream maker for how long you should keep it running.  I have a Cuisinart and I let mine go for 25 minutes.

Is it just me or when you start your ice cream maker is the sound tolerable but after like 15 minutes you are ready to put in ear plugs because it is so. frickin. loud.

Anyhow, you can eat it straight out of the machine, but it will be a little runny.  If you like a firmer consistency, freeze it for a couple of hours and then eat it.

I couldn't wait!

Let me tell you guys, it is SO good!  I was a fan of the chunks of pineapple and flakes of coconut, but Dude wasn't; so next time I might try throwing everything in the food processor instead of folding in the pineapple and coconut.  

This recipe made roughly 3 cups of ice cream, so based on My Fitness Pal's calculation, this frozen yogurt comes in at only 140 calories per serving.  If you really wanted to skinny it up, you could use less sugar or even substitute Splenda for the confectioners sugar.

Nutritional Information
Calories Per Serving: 140
Carbs:  26
Fat:  2
Protein:  5

Background Music for this Project:  One Tree Hill, Season 9 - Episode 7:  Last Known Surroundings

My Favorite Granola (Bonus - It's Gluten Free!)

I first started making this granola two weeks ago when Dude and I started our Gluten Free Month.  I created a kind of frankengranola by adding elements from other granola recipes I've seen floating around; but my main inspiration came from this one.  Since then I've made it at least 4 times.  We go through it so quick!! Dude likes to eat it with almond milk, I like it on my homemade organic yogurt or with an apple dipped in almond butter.  

The best thing about this granola, and I'll probably say it three or four more times before this post is done, is that you can customize it to what you like.  The problem I've always had with granola is that more often than not, there is something I don't really like in it.  Something like slivered almonds or banana chips or purple raisins or the spices are too heavy or too light, there's always something.

But with this granola, I'll give you the ingredients I use, but if you don't like nuts or don't want flaxseed, don't add it!  If you would rather use dried raspberries and nothing else, go for it!  If you want big clumps of granola, add more maple syrup or honey.  If you hate pumpkin pie spice, but love something else, add it!  Do what you like, and preferably what only you like that way no one else will eat it!

Seriously, make this granola tonight, you won't regret it.

You'll need:

• 1-ish tbs honey
• 1-ish tbs real maple syrup (sampler not required, but it was all I had)
• 2 tbs coconut oil
• 2 cups quick or old fashioned oats

Everything else on this list is completely optional, if you don't like something, leave it out or switch it out with something you do like.  But from here on out we're going with what I used.

• 1 tbs pumpkin pie spice
• 2 tbs chia seed
• 1 tbs flaxseed
• 3/4 cup total of your favorite dried fruit (I used golden raisins, dried blueberries and dried cranberries, 1/4 c of each)
• 1/4 cup chopped chocolate (I used chocolate chips because that was all I had)
• 1/4 cup chopped nuts
• 1/2 cup coconut flakes (sweetened or unsweetened, whatever you like)

First things first, preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Then, put the coconut oil in a small saucepan.  Add in the honey and maple syrup.  I usually add a little less than 1 1/2tbs because I like some clumps.  Here's what my "little less than a half" looks like.  Notice its a tablespoon - 

I've added more and I've added less honey and maple syrup and it still tastes just fine.  This recipe is very forgiving!

Whisk everything together over low heat.  While your liquids are heating up, pour your oats into a small bowl.

Why did I take a picture of this?  Oats in a bowl.

When your liquids look like this,

take them off the heat and pour them over your oats and mix to coat them with the sugary mixture. 

Pour the oats in a single layer onto a parchment lined pan (not essential, but it helps down the road) and bake them for 7 minutes.  This is what they'll look like after 7 minutes.  You can see some pieces are kind of brown, others are still white-ish.

Give the oats a good stir put them back in the oven for 5 minutes, or until they are all slightly browned.

Sprinkle your coconut, chia seeds, flaxseed and pumpkin pie spice over your browned oats, stir, and bake for 5 more minutes.  This is just to toast the coconut, so if you like your coconut flakes raw, no need to bake again.  Keep an eye on your oats to make sure they don't burn!

While your oats are baking this last time, start chopping up your dried fruit, nuts and chocolate.

 
Take the granola out of the oven once the coconut is toasted to your liking.  Mine looked like this -

Allow the granola to cool completely.  At this point, to speed to the cooling process, I normally make a giant cup out of the parchment paper and remove it from the baking sheet.  Bonus - minimal clean up!

When your granola has cooled, add the fruit, nuts and chocolate and mix well.  Here is where having the parchment cup helps.  Dump everything in and just shake!  No need to dirty another spoon!

Try some now and make sure you're happy with the spices.  If not, add more.  If you wish it didn't have spice at all, send me your leftovers!

Enjoy over milk, homemade Greek yogurt, or by itself.

Oh hai me in the spoon!

Skinny Coconut Banana Bread

Story of my life here:  I went to the grocery store last Sunday with great plans to drink a green smoothie every morning for breakfast.  So I bought a bunch of 5 bananas.  Friday rolls around and I haven't had one smoothie all week (there is something about running the blender at 6:15am that just doesn't sit well with me); and now the eternal question:  Do I save the bananas in the hopes of making banana bread sometime soon or do I bite the bullet and throw them out?

If you're with me in this and pondering what you should do with those dang bananas, save them and make this Skinny Coconut Banana Bread sometime soon!  If they aren't too far gone, you can throw them in the fridge and buy yourself a couple more days before they get super mushy and yucky.  I've also heard you can mash the bananas and then freeze them?  I'm not a fan of freezer bananas, so attempt at your own risk.

Anywho, when you're ready, grab your ingredients and let's get baking!

For this bread you'll need:

• 1 ¾ cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1¼ teaspoon baking soda
• 3 Large ripe bananas, mashed
• ½ cup + 2 tablespoons sweetened flaked coconut
• ½ tablespoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• ½ cup of brown sugar
• 3 egg whites
• 2 tablespoons unsweetened coconut milk
• ¼ cup fat free plain Greek yogurt
• ¼ cup light orange juice

First, things first - preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

Once you've started your oven, combine all your dry ingredients (flour, baking powder, baking soda).

Then, grab your bananas and mash those suckers.  Mashing bananas is probably the only time I wish for a potato masher.

Once the bananas are all mashed up, add in the brown sugar and vanilla.

Add in the egg whites and then mix it up.

Now it's time to add in the oil.  I imagine you could substitute applesauce for the oil to make this recipe even skinnier; but I didn't try it because I am a fraidy-cat and not following recipes makes me nervous.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that my hands NEVER look like that when I'm baking by myself.  They were posing.  My hands are so vain!

Once the oil is in and mixed up, slowly add in the flour and mix until just combined.  It's ok if it's a little lumpy.

My batter looked like this when I was done mixing in the flour:

Next up is the Greek yogurt and OJ.

The recipe says if you like dense bread to omit the milk.  I added one tablespoon of coconut milk; and if I make this again, I will add the second tablespoon.  This bread comes out VERY dense.  As in, you could probably use it as a blanket dense.

Now all that's left is the coconut.  Measure out a half a cup of coconut and then fold it into the batter.  If you like nuts, you could add those in at this point too.

It's go time!  Pour the batter into a 9x5 loaf pan and top it with coconut.  The recipe says two tablespoons, but no one's counting.

Bake for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.   

Do yourself a favor, while this bread is still warm, cut yourself a piece and put a little spray butter on it.  It's fantastic.  And at roughly 100 calories per slice, it's pretty much guilt free.  Dude, it's got bananas in it, that means it can't be bad for you, right?

Now, word of warning, do NOT leave this bread unattended on the counter while it's cooling.  If you do happen to run downstairs for 15 seconds to get a roll of paper towels from the laundry room, you may come back upstairs and find this -

And when you turn around you will see this guilty (defiant?) face -

Background Noise for This Project:  Parks & Recreation, Season 3:  Episode 12:  Eagleton and 13: The Fight